"This is what it all boils down to, the Shit that sticks to the bottom of your shoes, Jealously, fear of rejection, and depression. Words will always be my weapon but I haven’t Quite figured out how to make them completely true."
"This is what it all boils down to, the Shit that sticks to the bottom of your shoes, Jealously, fear of rejection, and depression. Words will always be my weapon but I haven’t Quite figured out how to make them completely true."
"He actually screamed, or atleast this is The highest I ever heard his voice be. He said no I’m not leaving till you tell me, I get so fucking tired of this shit. (Oh trust me baby I am too, I am too.) And right then I smiled cause I knew he Was breaking and that it was all my fault. Cause no matter what you tell me, I will Always think you’re full of shit."
"All my pressure points have eroded; You pushed and pushed till my skin Sunk in with your grip. No longer can my face hide, my eyes Tell it all, apathy left worry lines across My forehead, you left stomach acid and This skip a beat heart to go along. If I could scream I would but these cigarettes Had left my throat raw with too many late nights Wondering all the possible ways I could say You’re the reason my legs shake. My skin is itching to run, to disappear And what would you care boredom is Your greatest evil."
"1. He said you don’t even love me. If only he knew that my eyes are wide. So wide. Wide enough to catch ever flaw In my sight. I was looking for a reason to leave, A reason to believe that once again Love will ruin Me. 2. Last minute affections when he Remembers that she is still there. The signs were blinding. Blinding enough that he didn’t Care. You can’t win for losing At your own game. 3. My love runs deep and wide, Something you’ll never see Cause you still believe that Love is sex and not an emotion That is easily spoken between Eyes and finger tips. 4. You got dreams and I know someday You’ll become the man you’ve always Wished yourself to be but for now you’re Still stuck in teenage fantasies; Too scare of responsibility."
"The drugs don’t work. Cocaine hits the nose then The back of the throat. I’m superhuman, beautiful, Everything my mortal self Could never be. Weed sinks in my lungs Allowing me to breath in New life but it’s not like how It was in the 60’s. Pcp almost killed me, rearranging My brain cells, I’m not the person I was a year ago. Alcohol, a warm poison, wiggles My toes to any sound and loosens My mouth. But when there’s not any chemicals Swimming in my blood stream I realize that all my problems Are still there Tenfold Growing as I douse more fuel To the flame, it’s consuming Me."
"I look at my mother, the woman Who bore me and I don’t see anything But hurt and shame; she disgusts me. I look at my other mother, the one who Raised me and all I feel is pity for how she Let the world’s pain turn her into an ice queen. When self identity becomes too much I ponder If I ever had a mother at all, then I realize mother Nature was the one who taught me, that even through Self destruction flowers still bloom."
"I use to look at you with glazed Over eyes, all I would see is sunshine. Now I can’t even look into your eyes, I don’t want to see your pity, I don’t Want to realize you’re the one thing That’s breaking me down."
"I’m a broken shell of who I use To be, endless days of tears and Battles with the razor blade and The one thing that should make Me happy only makes me want To sink further down into the ground."
"You’re the anchor holding me, refusing air into My lung capacity shrinking my brain cells to the Point where there’s no point in even pretending I’m happy cause I’m not."
"Flowers start to rot in my ribcage, Decaying the affection I once had and I start to dread the nicotine. The love is still there it just got misplaced With my fears and these doubting tendencies. If I could go back to summer days I would in A heartbeat if only so I could look at you again With adoring eyes."
"Inching part, make up sex is the only Words we know how to communicate. You were my muse but by now I’ve sucked All my emotions dry only to be left with Numbing apathy."
"1. Nine years old took my first sip, I was so scared that my insides Would be completely changed But she kept telling me it’ll be ok. 2. Right before being a teenager became Everything, I experienced the weightless Feeling of letting something else take control, Heaven forbid I wanted to imprinted it in my bones. 3. It wasn’t till years later when the craving Came creeping back in, I wanted the taste again. Looking everywhere in between but no one Could supply the need. 4. My mother started to find empty bottles Laying around in my head, she didn’t know What to do so she packed up my stuff and Said if you think you got it bad, then you’re Fixing to find out how real people live. 5. Nothing has changed except my body And the deterioration of brains."
